ImNotAnAttorney

Services built for your case

Five tiers of defense intelligence. Start at $97 — upgrade anytime with full credit toward the next tier.

We're insurance on your attorney investment

You paid $10K-$100K+ for an attorney. Our services cost a fraction of that — to make sure they're actually earning it.

You paid attorney
$10K
Our service
$97-$997
1-10% of your investment
You paid attorney
$30K
Our service
$497-$1,997
2-7% of your investment
You paid attorney
$100K
Our service
$997-$4,997
1-5% of your investment

Upgrade Credits: 100% Applied

Start with the Case Decoder for $97. If you upgrade later, every dollar you paid is credited toward the next tier. No money wasted. 12-month expiration.

Drug Cases

Possession, trafficking, distribution

We analyze your case for weight discrepancies, CI reliability issues, chain of custody gaps, and every motion your attorney should be filing.

Case Decoder

$97

Plain-English charge breakdown + 10-15 drug-case questions. Which motions apply to your charges? What should have happened by now?

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Most Popular

Intelligence Brief

$497

Judge intelligence for drug cases. How does your judge rule on suppression? What's the local plea pattern? 35-50 targeted questions.

Get Intelligence Brief

The X-Ray

$997

Full discovery analysis — weight discrepancies, lab methodology gaps, CI reliability, chain of custody. 20+ case-specific questions.

Requires discovery documents

Get The X-Ray

The War Room

$1,997

Everything above + officer dossiers, witness analysis (up to 8), motion wave strategy, case law package, weekly updates.

Requires discovery documents

Get The War Room

The Situation Room

$4,997

Full trial prep — witness battle scripts, CI destruction playbook, lab expert cross-exam, reply briefs, real-time trial support.

Requires discovery documents

Get The Situation Room

DUI / DWI

First offense through felony DUI

From breathalyzer calibration records to field sobriety test compliance — we find the questions your attorney should already be asking.

Case Decoder

$97

Your DUI charges explained in plain English. What to expect at each stage. 10-15 questions your attorney needs to answer.

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Most Popular

Intelligence Brief

$497

Your judge's DUI sentencing patterns, local diversion programs, DMV hearing strategy. 35-50 targeted questions.

Get Intelligence Brief

The X-Ray

$997

Full discovery analysis — BAC evidence, breathalyzer calibration, dashcam review, field sobriety compliance. 20+ questions.

Requires discovery documents

Get The X-Ray

The War Room

$1,997

Officer dossiers, expert witness challenges, motion wave strategy, case law package, weekly updates until resolution.

Requires discovery documents

Get The War Room

The Situation Room

$4,997

Full trial prep — officer cross-exam scripts, expert destruction playbook, voir dire framework, real-time trial support.

Requires discovery documents

Get The Situation Room

White Collar

Fraud, embezzlement, federal charges

Federal cases are a different game. We help you understand complex charges, organize overwhelming discovery, and evaluate the cooperation decision.

Case Decoder

$97

Plain-English federal process guide. What are the elements of each count? What should your attorney have done by now?

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Most Popular

Intelligence Brief

$497

Judge sentencing patterns, AUSA profile, guidelines calculation review, cooperation framework. 35-50 targeted questions.

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The X-Ray

$997

Discovery indexing for massive cases. Financial document analysis, witness statement review, timeline reconstruction. 20+ questions.

Requires discovery documents

Get The X-Ray

The War Room

$1,997

Full intelligence operation — AUSA dossier, cooperator analysis, sentencing guidelines deep dive, case law package, weekly updates.

Requires discovery documents

Get The War Room

The Situation Room

$4,997

Complete trial prep + sentencing prep. Expert cross-exam, cooperator destruction playbook, guidelines objections, real-time support.

Requires discovery documents

Get The Situation Room

Deliverable Guarantee

Every question, every report, on time — or your money back. We guarantee the work — not the outcome.

Case Decoder: Delivered within 24 hours with 10+ targeted questions.

Intelligence Brief: Delivered within 72 hours with 35+ targeted questions.

The X-Ray: Delivered within 7 business days with 20+ case-specific questions.

The War Room: Initial package within 28 business days. Weekly updates thereafter.

The Situation Room: Priority 24-48hr turnaround per stage. Trial-ready.

Frequently Asked Questions

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